Other Young Woman

In my recent post I mentioned about the other young woman. Now I will talk to you about her. I always find myself in a trouble whenever we are together. It's a mystery that, whenever I'm with her, I feel constricted. I build a wall, a wall so thick that during those times, we couldn't hear each other, because we wouldn't speak a word. She's always the one who initiates a conversation, never me, and when she does I could never relate. It could be because we have different interests, lifestyles and values. A snippet of delightful secret I could tell you is: I've once decided to stay away from her, to stop talking to her. My plans were devious, mind you. I hoped she would do the same to me. My presuppositions weren't true, of course. She continued to talk to me. She's a puzzle, ain't she? I must admit that it's hard for me to trust her. It's hard for me to feel ANYTHING relatively benign for her. Because of the mistakes she has made, it's hard. Because of my belief that she'll never change that character, it's hard.

It's putting my life at an ambiguous angle, I feel like a young boy teetering over a tree branch, and the ground is ten feet below. How will I let her know that I don't believe we'll ever mix together, like powdered juice and water. We live far too different lives. We believe in too many opposing things. I KNOW, I will never adjust to her lifestyle. Our core values seems to be the exact opposite, and heading in different directions. *Sigh

I just don't know how to resolve this. Shall I continue distancing away from her? Or shall I let her be my tool in learning how to relate to other people very well? Ahh, I shall do the latter. =)